I watched the whole show in one night, yes it’s cringe-worthy, it is the kind of show you love to hate-watch. Through the course of eight seemingly harmless, silly episodes, the show managed to propound casteism, classism, colourism and sexism while normalising the notoriously annoying “aunty gaze”. Sure it’s fun to watch Sima Taparia, India’s self-proclaimed top matchmaker making trips between India and the US to set up her clients with their ideal match. This ideal match, of course, means the individual and the family’s ideal match or society’s ideal match because real talk, this matchmaker actively refutes individuality. And it’s done rather unironically. That’s what makes it even more amusing. Between comparisons with Love Is Blind, Dating Around, Too Hot to Handle and the chronicling of mismatched dates, another mark the show seems to miss is the title. Apart from being obviously problematic, Indian Matchmaking is sadly mistitled.
Indian Matchmaking: Netflix’s ‘divisive’ dating show causes storm
Indian Matchmaking shows picky individuals with a long list of demands that centre around caste, height and skin colour. A new Netflix show about an Indian matchmaker catering to the high demands of potential brides and grooms, and their parents, has stoked an online debate about arranged marriages in the country. The eight-part series, Indian Matchmaking, premiered on Netflix last week and is currently among its top-ranked India shows.
It features Sima Taparia, a real-life matchmaker from Mumbai, who offers her services to families in India and abroad. The show has become the subject of memes, jokes, and criticism, about the pickiness of the potential spouses and their parents, with long lists of demands centring around factors like caste, height or skin colour. Indian Matchmaking isn’t just about the liberal colorist and sexist fabric South Asian cultures are steeped in.
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Mixing documentary modes with dating show ridicule, it maintains and masks the most insidious injury arranged by marriage: caste.
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I was worried about the judgement that would come with it. I had to sit with that for a while and evaluate my reaction. It became very evident that I was trying to protect the problematic nature of traditions in my culture. The way love is defined changes over time, alongside our accessibility to the world; one screen swipe away. This system is global and established politically as well as socially.
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I remember reading a cartoon a number of years ago in which two parents were telling their daughter, “You can marry anyone you want as long as he’s a brahmin. Certainly the tradition of marrying within one’s caste, or jati occupation , and community language group , is still the strongest one in our global Hindu community. New trends, however, are also manifesting, as our article points out.
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The first season of the show has missed presenting an all-round and inclusive picture of the Indian reality. That Indian Matchmaking has upset people across the spectrum is slightly baffling given we are a culture obsessed with arranged marriages. Newspapers embellished with matrimonial adverts — ridiculous and regressive in equal measure — are perhaps the oldest testimonies to our fixation with this robust institution.
With Indian Matchmaking , this well-preserved secret is out for Western edification and that is perhaps the reason for our collective outrage against the show. The merits and demerits of this criticism levelled against the show can be emphatically argued when placed within the cultural context our society.
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Matchmaking is the process of matching two or more people together, usually for the purpose of marriage , but the word is also used in the context of sporting events such as boxing, in business, in online video games and in pairing organ donors. In some cultures, the role of the matchmaker was and is quite professionalised. The Ashkenazi Jewish shadchan , or the Hindu astrologer , were often thought to be essential advisors and also helped in finding right spouses as they had links and a relation of good faith with the families.
In cultures where arranged marriages were the rule, the astrologer often claimed that the stars sanctified matches that both parents approved of, making it quite difficult for the possibly-hesitant children to easily object — and also making it easy for the astrologer to collect his fee. Social dance , especially in frontier North America, the contra dance and square dance , has also been employed in matchmaking, usually informally.
However, when farming families were widely separated and kept all children on the farm working, marriage-age children could often only meet in church or in such mandated social events.
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Why the process of ‘Indian Matchmaking’ crushed my confidence
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Indian Matchmaking is the Netflix Show which has made waves in the Indian marriage market. It attempts to portray how the Indian.
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