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The word “blessed” has acquired a new meaning in South Africa. But across South Africa being blessed denotes giving thanks to the person behind such blessings as holidays, designer handbags and even cash. In the past month, South Africa has buzzed with conversations about men with money and women who want expensive status symbols. The words “Blessed”, “Blesser” and “Blessee” have been so widely used that people are making jokes about it – that you can’t say “bless you” to a girl when she sneezes because she might get the wrong idea.
Blesser pic. Unfiltered , a youth production company based in Johannesburg took to the streets of South Africa to get a sense of the popular trend. A Facebook page cropped up in April called BlesserFinder Mzansi to facilitate contact between women responding to the messages sent in by eager men. An early post reads: “Are you a Blesser looking to bless a Blessee?
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She was at a mall in a nearby town, alone, when he called out. He might have been captivated by her almond eyes and soaring cheekbones. Or he might have just seen her for what she was: young and poor. She tried to ignore him, she told me, but he followed her. They exchanged numbers. By the time she got home, he had called her. She enjoyed spending time with the man during the day, when they would talk and go to the movies.
When she refused him, he beat her. For her trouble, he gave her a cellphone, sweets, and chocolates.
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According to a recent study , school-age girls in South Africa are 3 times as likely to be HIV positive as boys the same age. What is the cause of this disparity? From anecdotal accounts, interviews and our study of the context, we learned about three societal constructs that may offer clues to the answer:. These beliefs cause dangerous behaviors. If one has to reciprocate gifts with sex, then older men with higher incomes and jobs are more able to afford sexual partners.
If having multiple partners proves your manhood, then these older men feel pressured to have multiple casual girlfriends. And if younger girls are perceived to be less likely to have HIV and perhaps even able to cure HIV , then these older men seeking multiple partners are looking for young girls. Such intergenerational relationships are thus at least partly responsible for the high prevalence of HIV among young women.
They perceive boys their age as promiscuous, and older men as more serious. They see the gifts, the money, the car rides, and the restaurants, which they interpret as signs of commitment and love. Because these relationships are often concealed from the public eye, it is difficult to know how to effectively target these girls to help them make healthier choices.
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